My undying love for short dresses and bum shorts. I will not allow anyone shame me into wearing things am not comfortable in, just to please the society
Angie Paru
''Major long post alerT
My undying love for short dresses and bum shorts. I will not allow anyone shame me into wearing things am not comfortable in, just to please the society
Here in Nigeria, we, as a society, have a tendency to jump to quick and very vocal judgments in the name of propriety. Without a doubt, one area where this has been painfully obvious for decades is the public shaming of women who wear short clothes. Of course, this is really a worldwide issue, and more than likely, if you're a woman, you've encountered the effects of these judgments personally. Mine is almost on daily basis. Whether you've been told by a parent that you simply won't be allowed out of the house in a skirt that short, scolded by an educator or leader in your religious community for always dressing like ashawo, or informed by a pervert that your clothing is making them feel a certain way, giving them conji and seducing them, know the sting of implications made about your personal worth based upon how you've chosen to explore fashion.
Recently, I found myself sincerely concerned with a post made by an old school friend on Facebook. It was another reminder of how our society still subconsciously considers harshly judging others to be a worthwhile pastime. We continue to think it acceptable or helpful even to publicly (in person or via social media) shame women for wearing too little or too much, and a tons of other offenses. And in an effort to encourage the well being of all women, I'd like to take a few moments to point out why doing so is both wildly inappropriate (even more than what you may perceive a woman's fashion choice to be), and can be detrimental to society as a whole.
1. Destroying Confidence Instead Of Fostering Positive Self-Image
Before you turn to your daughter and tell her you refuse to see her dress like such an ashawo
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(I know, harsh, but a lot of parents do it without even thinking),
please remember that there are damaging effects to having one's personal
appearance harshly criticized. Especially when it's your sexual
appearance that's being called into question. Teenage girls have the
already difficult task of navigating their emerging sexual desires in a
society that doesn't teach sexual education or embrace the reality that
women can be intelligent, respectable, and sexually alluring people.
What they need most from their parents is emotional support and
constructive guidelines that will help them find their own sense of
style. Even if you don't like how they are dressed, there are many ways
you could explain things to them, rather than shaming them.2.The fallacy of attention-seeki
Across the Internet and social circles, people claim that women who wear short outfits are attention seekers looking for men or trying to seduce them. This is unfortunate, eziokwu. Women chose their wardrobe based on varying personal factors. Do not do a woman the injustice of projecting what you would like to think she's thinking upon her, haba. Better yet, do not assume you can read the mind of anyone, because unless your psychic game is genuinely strong, you're probably mistaken.
3. Rape culture
There's no doubts about how prevalent rape is in our culture. Every 1 in 5 women says they've been sexually assaulted. But the most frightening than that statistic is the approach our society tends to give in terms of why a woman has been raped. Too many people throw around terrible phrases like "She was asking for it" or suggest that what a woman was wearing either implied that she wanted to be raped, so it was okay, or that the coverage of her clothing or its cut caused her rapist to lose control This is a huge issue and one of great concern. A woman's attire may be a reflection of her mood, however, in no circumstance does an outfit signify a woman's consent to sexual activity. Nor does it signify an invitation. It is our responsibility as individuals to recognize personal boundaries and to respect each other's wishes when it comes to our bodies and sexuality. Self-control is paramount, and the way to prevent continued rape culture is to teach self-control and respect for all sexes beginning at a young age. It also means teaching the difference between what we see in porn and what we see in real life, ighotago?
That I dress this way doesn't make me a prostitute or calling for sex, the truth is that many women who have had lots of sex don't even like to show off their bodies at all — and not because they feel any shame in it, but they just don't.
Continuing to limit the clothing options for girls and women and categorizing certain items as being too distracting only does society, women, and men a disservice. It teaches us to believe that our bodies are somehow shameful, and that showing our shape will lead to pain, suffering, and dehumanization,
And while I'm not condoning walking around with your breasts and bombom exposed for very obvious reasons of sanitation and etiquette, I do think it's high time society examined its social norms from a more nurturing and less destructive point of view. Our bodies and body parts are not evil, they are functional, and they deserve to be regarded equally, from one sex to another, and with genuine respect.''
Udo!
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